Kalia's Birth Story

Yesterday Joanne, our doula, came for our post-natal visit. One of the things we chatted about was our different perspectives of Kalia's birth and we went over the timeline. I was really happy that I recorded Logan's birth story; it's been good to reflect back on, I've shared it with people who wanted to hear more about my hypnobirthing experience and I think it's really important that there are positive birthing experiences out there for women to read.

When I got pregnant, we knew that we wanted a Doula and I was going to do hypnobirthing again (see here and here). Based on our experience with Logan, we tweaked our birth plan slightly. I added that I didn't want them to ask me to rate my pain and that I didn't want any coaching for pushing, as I would do it according to my instincts. I also explicitly highlighted that I would be using hypnobirthing methods.

So here's the very short timeline of Kalia's birthday...

Jan 6th, 2011

3:30 am: I wake up to pee and feel a bit "different". I have a bit of a back ache and a mild tummy ache. Instead of going back to bed, I surf the net for a bit and check my email.

3:49 am: I change my Facebook status to: "ready, set..." I have a gut feeling that I'm going to start going into labour sometime today.

4:00 am: I email my Doula to give her a heads up --no need to call as I'm not in real labour yet. I decide I'll just let her and Allan sleep.

4:15 am: I head back to bed but then think it might be a good idea to time things. Contractions seems to be about five to two minutes apart and only about 30 to 60 seconds long. So nothing consistent and technically not in labour yet.

4:30 am: I can't sleep so I take a shower, shave my legs, put in my contacts and start collecting things for my bag.

4:50 am: Hmm, maybe this is going to go faster that I was expecting. I decide I should wake up Allan: "Allan I need you get up." Allan mumbles and rolls over. "Allan, it's time. I need you to get up" His eyes get big and he's ready to go! He takes a shower and gets his things together.

5:10 am: I get Allan to time my contractions on his phone and they are still irregular -between two to four minutes and still only around 30 seconds. Regardless I feel like it's time to go to the hospital --we are only like five minutes away and worse is they could just send us home. While I don't really meet the criteria for going to the hospital yet, Allan trusts my instincts and is supportive of the decision. He calls the hospital and let them know we're on our way.

5:30 am: Luckily my parents were still at our place -they were planning on leaving after morning rush hour. I realize I don't have any recent belly shots so I ask my mom to take one before we load up the car. Ohhh and check out the baby mobile --I made that!! This facial expression is me listening to Logan, who just woke up, saying a billion and one things to me, while I simultaneously wonder why it's taking two minutes for my mom to press the button on the camera. LOL



5:50 am: We get to the hospital and call Doula Joanne from the parking lot and ask her to join us. For each contraction I stop and hug/lean on Allan, I picture my beach from the hypnobirthing CDs very vividly and when the contraction is done, it's like it didn't even happen -I feel refreshed, happy and excited. I remember having one contraction as we pull into the parking lot, one in the parking lot and one just inside of the emergency/after hours entrance.

6:00 am: We go to the triage room and I'm told I'm only 2cm and "paper thin". The nurse asks me a few questions about hynobirthing. She says if I want to avoid interventions, I should just walk around and come back in a few hours to be checked since I'm really only "borderline" for being admitted at this time. I just know that this baby is going to be here before lunch and asked to be admitted --I'm GBS positive and although my water hasn't broke yet, I want to get in some antibiotics.

6:40 am: In our room and waiting for the nurse. Here I am putting my hair up and getting ready to go! I've got my "birthing outfit": (1.) My own pjs; same ones from Logan's birth, although with Logan I had time to change into a gown when I knew it was time to start pushing. And (2) slipper boots which were really handy ---they kept my feet warm and I could go from bed to floor without them falling off or loosing them. As you can see things are going good and very relaxed!

All set!

Girl power!
Allan practicing his breathing techniques! LOL

6:30 am: Our nurse arrives and I feel sick. I ask Allan to get me something to throw up in. I hate throwing up and am a bit annoyed that this stage is here again. Last time I threw up so much and so hard that I burst a whole bunch of little veins in my face and had tiny red spots all over my face for two days. But this time I throw up twice and it's done. Things feel like they are getting a little more intense and I lean on Allan for each contraction and sort of walk in place until it passes.

6:50 am:Still feeling good! The nurse is now ready to give me my antibiotics since I'm GBS positive. I get our nurse to give me hep lock IV for my antibiotics -totally recommend this as then once you're done you don't have a pole attached to you.

7:00 am: Joanne arrives! Just in time too since I feel like I'm really in labour now. Joanne helps to adjust the lighting so it's dim and cozy. I have a bit of an achy feeling in my lower back so I ask her to push on it as we had discussed -counter pressure on my hips. I'm leaning on Allan for each contraction, which I know is going to get tiring for him. I ask Joanne for suggestions for something else. She gets us a birthing ball and I sit on it and lean on a pillow on the raised bed. This is very comfortable and lets me stay rested between contractions. When a contraction was on it's way, I would just say Allan's name and he would place his hands on my shoulder or stroke my hair and Joanne would apply the counter pressure and help keep me focused on my hypnobirthing imagery.

7:30 am: I tell Joanne and Allan that I'm "transitioning to the next stage" and want to be checked. Just as I tell them this, Dr. Hall walks in for my first checkup. He said that he was guessing I was around 8cm but checks and I'm "only 6" or a "tight 7" cm. He says my membrane are bulging and asks if I want them ruptured. "No, thank you", Allan and I both say, so off the doctor went. Joanne praises us for advocating for ourselves and helps me get back to focusing on my imagery.

For the next hour Allan and Joanne keep me very focused and relaxed. I actually find myself dozing off between contractions! Allan gives me a few ice chips after each contraction and Joanne rests her hands on my back or shoulders which feels very "grounding". I feel very well taken care of. I mention a few more times that I feel things are "transitioning", although I don't know what they are transitioning to. This hour seems really, really short. When we were going through the timeline in our meeting I was confused since this hour felt like maybe ten or fifteen minutes to me. Hypnobirthing really helps make time feel very different for you.

8:30 am: My water breaks. I think: "Oh, okay. So that's what I was moving towards". With Logan's birth my water broke as the first indication that labour was starting. And it was a small leak last time and really uneventful. This was very different. I had a contraction and it felt like a water balloon exploded between my legs. I had another contraction and felt the same feeling. This was actually a pretty cool part of labour and I was actually kind of excited that I got to experience my water breaking this way. LOL And I thought I was so smart the day before wearing a maxi pad for our walk around Ikea "just in case my water breaks". Gosh, I'm so glad this didn't happen in public. Allan said as soon as it happened a nurse was there to clean it up. I just remember opening my eyes, seeing water going across the floor and thinking 'oh, neat!' and then going back to my focused hypnobirthing imagery.

8:45 am: I start to feel a lot of pressure; like some one has two hands inside of me and are pushing down. It doesn't hurt but it's hard to stay focused. This time after my water breaking is the hardest part of labour for me. It took a lot of focus to 'breathe the baby down' and stay relaxed. "Joanne I need you help", I say a few times and she knew just what to do --telling me to focus on keeping my jaw relaxed and helping me with my breathing. Allan was fabulous too; I felt really connected to him and after every contraction he had something positive and encouraging to say. I tell Joanne and Allan that it's happening really fast and intensely and that I think Kalia is coming soon. I was pretty vocal at this stage and perhaps a bit bossy but Joanne said afterwards it was just me being very in tune to my body and knowing exactly what I needed --a few things I remember saying: "Push lower, Joanne", "Push harder please", "Allan put your hands on my shoulder". Joanne said later when I asked her to push lower on my hips it was because Kalia was dropping lower.

8:55 am: I can feel Kalia pushing down on me. I really focus on just relaxing and let her and my body do the work. I don't push or bear-down; I just relax and breathe. I remember thinking that I don't know how anyone without putting in the pre-labour hypnobirthing work could do this. "I'm crowning!" I announce to the room. It feels completely different than Logan's birth and I'm surprised that I know. With Logan I was all silent and zen and then Logan crowning knocked me out of that for about thirty seconds. This wasn't painful at all but surprising. I think -"I'm not even in the bed yet! I haven't listened to my ipod or spontaneously pushed. Already?!?" Joanne and Allan help me up off the birthing ball and into the bed as they call for the doctor. I hear Allan say they can see the head already. There's a lot of activity around me but it's like there is a mute button on. I feel relaxed and don't feel the need to push at all. I can feel Joanne to my left and Allan on my right. Allan touches my arm gets my attention and tells me that I have to push because of the shoulders. Dr Hall is there now and says something about getting the shoulders unstuck and I give two short pushes.

9:02 am: Our daughter Kalia is born.

They place her on my tummy right away and Allan got to cut the cord.

9:30 am: I had some pretty intense "after pains" after breastfeeding Kalia. This happened on and off for the next hour. It felt like really bad menstrual cramps and I was so cold that I was shivering. This didn't happen with Logan and I was a bit mentally unprepared for this. I remember straight-up saying to Joanne; "I'm scared" Instead of saying something like it's "it's normal, don't be', she acknowledged my feelings, told me what was happening and then gave me some options to try to help deal with it. These after pains would return a few times over the next week, especially after breastfeeding and Allan was really great dealing with it in a similar way -"Remember what Joanne said, you're breathing is just as important now as it was in labour" and he would hug me and help me get through it.

10:30 am: My birthing team! The four of us worked excellent together to create a focused, pain-free, and super fast hypnobirth.

Our Doula Joanne was truly a blessing during pregnancy, labour and postpartum. 12 noon: Allan goes with Kalia to another room to get some blood tests done for her. I'm glad that Joanne is still there with me so I don't have to be alone. Before she goes, we take a few more pictures...

12:30 am: I'm ready to go home but we're told our family doctor wants to see the baby before we go home -she's off at 3:30 and will come afterwards. The nurses and the peditritian that comes by all say that normally you should stay for atleast 24 hours and maybe even 48 hours but we live so close and I want my own bed and to see Logan. If nothing is wrong, I want to be home for supper. I'm determined to get my timeline.

1:30 pm: Kalia's Auntie Steph is at the hospital picking up paperwork for her nursing placement and stops by to say hello. I eat all my lunch that they bring to me, text message friends and take a bit of a nap.

3:30 pm: I get changed and get Allan to put our suitcase on the bed and pack things up. I want it very clear when our doctor comes by that I want to checkout as soon as possible.

4:30 pm: Our doctor checks Kalia and she is perfect. She says we can go home if come back to the hospital the next day for blood work and see her at the clinic in a week.

5:30 pm: The nurse offers to help us with a bath and go over some baby care refresher information. We decide to stay a bit longer to give Logan a chance to come home from school, eat and settle in before meeting his new sister.

6:45 pm: We wait around for all the paperwork to be finished and finally we're ready to go home! :D

All About My Birthday

Today we had our follow-up meeting with our Doula Andrea so I thought it would be nice to reflect back on Logan's birthday...

Most women that I have talked to have felt the need to tell me about the epidural that didn't work or the 27 hour labour that they or someone they know went through. There are only three people I have heard talk really positively about their birthing experience -Cousin Claire, Dana from work and Dr. Biner's secretary.

Here is Baby Logan's birthdy story for thouse that are interested.....



The Beginning
Saturday night we all went to Ate Mildred’s house to celebrate her and Ate Mylene’s birthdays. I had some Chile Chicken which was a bit too spicy for me...this is what may have helped things along. We went and picked up the car which was getting the breaks fixed and I drove it home, while Allan went to Jack’s to watch the’ NBA All Star Week End Dunk Off’. At home I stayed up reading ‘In Her Shoes’ way past my normal bedtime and when Al got home we watched the repeat of the Dunk Off together, had a snack and went to bed around 1:30. I joked with Allan that perhaps this was my ‘bust of energy’ and Logan would come on Family Day. However, my water broke at 3:15 am when I got up to go the washroom. Since I had to have antibiotics because of previous test results I called to hospital to let them know. We were told to be there in an hour or two. I took a shower, changed, text messaged some friends and Allan loaded the car. I only felt a bit crampy in my tummy –more like a sight hunger pain. We stopped at Tim Horton’s so Al could get coffee and we could get treats for the nurses, as per Erica’s suggestion (she did a nursing placement on the labour and delivery floor before).

Getting Settled
We got to the hospital around 5ish and sat around for them to check that in fact my water did break. I called my Doula Andrea to let her know what was happening. Since I wasn’t feeling any contractions I wasn’t sure if she needed to come right away but then decided it would be nice to have someone who knows what’s going on. Allan and I were shown to a room and I was given a hospital gown –but I put on my pjs and slippers from home instead. Then a nurse came in a few minutes later. She seemed surprised I didn’t want the hospital gown on and told me they would have to cut it off if I needed an emergency c-section...which if that was the case, ruining my pjs would be the least of my worries. Besides those hospital gowns tie up at the back and I didn’t plan on flashing my huge pregnant behind to anyone. Then the nurse brought out the IV pole and I asked for a hep-lock IV. ‘Are you a nurse? I don’t think anyone has asked me for that in my 12 years here”. This was another suggestion from my friend nurse Erica. This let me get the antibiotics that I needed and then I could disconnect from the IV pole and walk around.

Thumbs Up!

While the nurse was still hooking me up our lovely Doula arrived-surprisingly fast and fully awake. She said that she was happy to see that I hadn’t laid down and suggested we started walking to get things going as soon as I was disconnected. The plan was just to walk around, stop and breath through each contraction (which were not regular or painful), take a sip of water after each one and use the washroom a lot. The nurse asked us to be back in hour to be checked. By an hour’s time, around 7:30am, the contractions were coming a bit more intense and my lower back was starting to ache. The nurse said I had about an hour or so before she got the doctor to come to induce me. I asked what would change that decision and she said if I could have contractions five minutes apart. Making every contraction count became my new goal.


Progress!
We walked along the hallway chatting. When a contraction started I would stop, lean on Allan and Andrea would press my hips and back which helped with the lower back pain. She kept reminding me to relax and to use my hypno-birthing visualizations. I was very peaceful and really the only pain was in my back, kind of like when I got a kidney stone. But in between each contraction I felt normal, calm and had no fear. After a bit I started to feel sick and Andrea fetched something just in case. I ended up throwing up by the main hospital doors with my hubby holding the little pan for me. Ahhh, true love! I remember looking over to the main desk and there was a security guard sitting at the main desk staring at me with the hugest eyes. I think he was terrified for me, while I was just relieved that the hospital hadn’t really opened up yet so there was no one else around. I only made it as far as the little snack booth in the main lobby and had to stop again so I could concentrate and breathe. The lady there was starting to just stock the shelves. I thought that it was time to return to my room before I started freaking other people out. While I waited for the nurse to check me in my room I was sick again. Andrea had been timing my contractions and reported that they were about 4 minutes apart and becoming more intense. The nurse checked me and told me that I was only 2 cm dilated but since things were progressing that I wouldn’t be induced. The nurse asked me rate the pain on a 1-10 scale, I said I didn’t want to -it goes against the hyno-birthing methods. But she persisted so I said ‘8’ randomly.

Andrea suggested that we go try out the Jacuzzi to help with the back pain. I wish I had that tub at home! In between contractions I tried to imagine that I was at the spa. Things intensified quickly. A got really cold and shivery then my back really started to bother me. Allan sat behind me and held me head and made me feel really secure. I moaned through some of the pain and got very squirmy, like I couldn’t find the right position to get comfortable. I told Al and Andrea I wanted to go back to the room and try something else. Once I got out of the tub I two more contractions that were felt different then the rest. I told them that I was ready to ‘tap out’ and thought perhaps I might need a epidural. It was still so early in labour -I was told maybe an hour ago I was only at 2cm! - and I couldn’t imagine having the mental strength to keep up with it for hours and hours more. Andrea said she would get me checked as soon as we got to the room and we headed back.

It’s Time!
I had a really strong contraction right by the nursing station on my way to the room. I told Andrea that something felt 'very different' and there was a lot of pressure. ‘Pressure? But you don’t feel like pushing do you?” “I don’t know, it just feels really different than before.” And then just like that the urge to push was there! It was like trying to stop a sneeze! I rushed back to my room and the nurses and doctors quickly came in. Those few minutes trying to breathe through the urge to push until I was checked was probably the hardest mental task of the labouring process.

I was quickly checked and was told that it was okay to push; I was fully dilated. Allan got my Discman so I could listen to my hypno-birthing labouring music. This process was the most peaceful of the whole labour. I had my eyes closed and relaxed between each contraction and Allan feed me a few ice chips at every break. There was no shouting to push or me screaming in pain, there were no stirrups or surgical masks or all that frightening stuff you see on tv. It felt very calm for me. The music was at right level that I could hear Dr. Sasha, Allan and Andrea saying how well it was progressing when I was pushing but I heard nothing in-between –I was totally in the zone and relaxed.

However, there was only one moment that I lost my mental focus....I was listening to my music, my eyes closed and breathing deeply and then it suddenly felt like Dr. Sasha was pulling at me. My eyes popped open and I said very sternly ‘What the fuck are you doing?!” (LOL!). Everyone was startled and turned to look at me with their mouths open. “Who? Me?” said the Doctor. Andrea told me it was the 'ring of fire' and that the baby was crowning. “Oh. Sorry about that then” I apologized and I closed my eyes and went back to focusing on relaxing.

Logan came smoothly out about an hour after I left the Jacuzzi at 10:25am on Sunday February 17th, 2008. The doctor said that the cord was around his neck but not choking him –if it hadn’t been around his neck the birthing might have been even faster. Allan cut the umbilical cord and Logan came up to cuddle with mommy and daddy right away. He was alert for about two hours afterwards and breastfed. He hardly even cried either! I took two asprins after Logan was born and that was it. We left the hospital the next day around lunch.

"So Much for Sleep, Mom and Dad..."

These are the books that I read to get ready....

Hypnobirthing (www.hypnobirthing.com/), the Lamaze Guide and the 4 CD hynobirthing CDs (http://www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/)